You wanna know how being thirty feels like? It's like feeling fourteen and waking up in a body that's not yours. And you think, how on Earth did I get here? You know very well what you like in life, you know very well how things are supposed to feel, and then, unexpected imagery crosses your sight, like new freckles, a thicker than expected butt and, God forbid, a white hair! Isolated, in the middle of your perfectly natural nice hair, growing like a parasite.
Yet you still feel like fourteen, with the same great dreams and sweet ambitions, with the same eager to fight for success, party hard and travel long.
And more wisdom. Sure. The one thing you think when you're thirty is, I wish I could be fourteen again with the wisdom of today. I wish I could go right through the very same experiences, but with fewer mistakes. I wish I could have not kissed certain guys and have kissed others instead.
Certainly there are better times than others. You are a roller coaster of personal satisfaction. Sometimes you rejoice in gratitude and think, "I've never been better than now". And actually, that's pretty true. Other times you wish you could just rewind time and get back to that very special and concrete time in your chronology in which you very well know, you made the biggest mistake of your entire life. That time when you were happier than ever and screwed up.
Take your time.
The weirdest thing is realizing that you can never get back. You can never be eight years old again, nor fifteen, nor twenty eight.
I see babies in the street and I don't think, "Oh, I wanna be a mum...".
Nope. I think envy. Hard-core envy.
Evidently, bottom line, the positive moral of the tale as I like to end my posts is: You can always make the best out of yourself NOW. Don't let "time" and it's by-products like "age" be an excuse.
I guess when you're thirty, you live with two more versions of yourself, one is the fourteen-age-version of yourself, and the other is the sixty-age-version of yourself. You have to honor the dreams that fourteen year old has, and you have to create the memories and life that sixty year old wants to have had.